Fervent prayer and two teaspoons of Benadryl (not sure of the spelling but is a cough medicine that should put one to sleep), I am totally restless and unable to fall asleep. Even though it's exactly two am in the morning I awoke earlier talking in my sleep. I have to say that yesterday was one of my best days (Thank you all for your prayers and I pray that God will richly bless you as He has in done so in my life), and it's too bad that I can't sleep now. I was tossing and turning and I wasn't as strong as I thought. My mind was troubled, anxious and worried.
I woke up and did my assigned readings for my political theory class and found them to be quite interesting albeit Machiavelli's Prince being diabolically opposed to "Thou shalt not kill". Regardless and my mom and I prayed in the morning the tutorial went better than expected and with the Holy Spirit in and upon me, I flourished and shone bright and participated with excellence. God's favor shone through as my contribution to the class discussion had my TA (Teacher's Assistant)come up to me after class to tell me that quote "you had good questions...you belong to Grad school" (referring to Graduate studies beyond that of the undergraduate studies that I am currently enrolled in) and that if I ever needed help that he would help me with the application! Wow! Praise God! That was a God moment right there because I had been praying for guidance as to what I should do after undergrad, although pursuing graduate studies in Political Science had not crossed my mind (maybe Sociology instead).
But this is the huge issue I have. There is a cute guy who I can really connect with in my class who had been pursuing me and I have resisted as much as I could. I thought I was just an option to him and thought nothing too serious of his flirting, but yesterday it became apparent to me that he was falling for me. He cleared the waters about not in the least being interested in anyone else and he stayed with me to meet my friend for the whole hour when he had an essay that was due he had to work on. I mean I didn't know he would stay and all his friends give all too clear sign that he will seriously ask me out. Then I thought woah... sure I like the guy but he smokes like every few minutes in my face and in front of my other friend and sometimes even in non-smoking places. I know, I should've told him but I didn't want to be rude. This is the same guy that strongly does not believe in God but honestly that and smoking is really turning me off.
After discussing things with my family we thought it best to confront the issue head on, especially before he himself brings up the issue. I am quite bad when it comes to relationships so I needed a lot of analysis and instruction. We prayed about it but since I have to do this in person, I have to wait until the middle of next week until I see him. Sometimes I want to get things over with because I don't want to be consumed by this like I am now. I don't know why I can't just let it go and sleep. It constantly bombards my mind. I don't enjoy confronting at all and it's keeping me up all morning. I need your prayers and I need God to help me even in this area and I need to sleep!
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