What a Day

Okay, so I start the day off wonderfully with prayer. Although my dad had closed the window so that my mom and I awoke from the heat of the night, it is to be expected of him. I know I must be lenient with him, but it's hard. My mom is one of the good ones, who is sticking with this guy that any woman would throw out and run away from. Mind you he has the potential to be great and to me he will always be my dad, but when he is wearing all black and looks like a gangster homeless person, sick literally sick with God knows what each week, and talking about diarrhea it's not a pretty picture. I'm just trying to paint a picture to you about the daily challenges I face each day. And even now my dad is yelling for no reason about a quilt when my mom is trying to be reasonable with him. Why this frustration you ask? Well many things... mainly class consciousness. You see whenever others see my dad and his atrocious car I am beyond embarrassed. My fear is actually others finding out who my father really is... but here I am telling you. Today I had to call my mom to call my dad to ask him to hide his car so that the people dropping me off would not mind the smaller town house so much versus having a smaller town house with a ugh it's not even a car, its junk! They'll think.. we'll first impressions are important and these people are well, upper class, white, all Canadian family. And you know, I don't know is they know God, but they seem to be having a reasonably good family life. The man of the house drives, works, speaks on behalf of the family and the mom just sits there but mind you she is SHARP and he knows, loves, and respects her for it. I even caught them in a moment of love and romance even in their advanced age. They drive a very nice car but they spend wisely and they are well mannered honest hard-working people with very successful children! I mean woah, when I look at my fmaily I HAVE to ask WHAT HAPPENED!??!?

So before I completely go off the edge with my rant today, I feel like I should tell you that I am a little disheartened because well, I keep changing what I want to do and who I want to be, I am so dissapointed that I'm actually sick and tired of this. At this point I figure I cannot risk giving you any detail, but all I can say is what I thought I was going to be, well, it's not what I thought and all I could spit out to impress this family was talk about being a lawyer. And all I've been saying was that being a lawyer would be the last thing I would do. I was asked to go to a training session that is NOT mandatory at the opposite end of the city, taking public transit, and they knowingly scheduled me the day before my exam. I know it is not like me to complain but I just want you to get a gist of what I'm going through, so that when I give a praise report of what God has done to turn things around, you and I will both appreciate it exponentially!