What is this???

I come to my Heabenly Father God Almighty in Jesus Name and I cover each word I speak, my family and I our house, our neighbourhood, every neighbour and electronic device with the blood of Jesus Christ and I command all unclean spirit to leave now in Jesus Name for the blood of Jesus is against You. Amen. Ohhh my gosh! God I can't sleep until I tell You. No one else... everyone is soo quiet my mom and sis... thye're not saying anything.. I jsut come to You and You know that even though I painted my night as bad.. t really wasn't that bad.. it's just I was dissapointed,k angry, confused, hopeful, dleighted, ansxious pissed off all at one time!! I don't even know if it\s the sugar cookies which I regret eating.. but I'm sure tonight was also emotional eating but not sure why... I still felt the same kind of disgust with this one person... I reallly don't think he deserves that at all.. but oh man I'm so angry at hum.. I guess for not really asking em out and treating it as if whatever.. like all the other dude... I don't know why I'm judging him and letting the HOT river get away with it.. I guess for some reason he layed off... and oh man like I don't even know if its' regret or WHAT it is because I am just BLAZING through this keyboard typeing SUPER fast and I cna't evenn graaspp everything except the fact htat apart from teh river I don't see anyone in my life right now... and I feel like.... okay in one end I guess I'm desperate?? not sure... like one end thank God I hae feelings towards someone but they seem so far out of freach and I wonder if these feeligns are artificial and then I look on their profile and lo and behold girls girls girls... GIRLS GIRLS and more GIRls.. and they are Christian smart and HOTTEr than ever... and may come with their own set of problems but I miss their attetion... and even if this forest gave me attention and not anymore I miss it... I misss the cradle's attention ... now I feel like I've got none... and ughhh I feel my beauty is wasted/?? I don't KNOW how I feel.. except I have work tomorrow and I didn't really have the best night tonight surrounded by OLDIES... sigh and I ate too much and I've got a 35% midterm... that I need help for,.. when is it ever that I go tot an event and not even expend much energy and get SOO bummed and dissapointed when I come home loosign the initmacy and feeeling 10000 times worse not better... I mean thank You that the forest closed the door and made things easier for me phew! I want my dream guy... not I'm having a nightmare please wake me up.. ughhh why do I feel this lust?? sinful beahviour towards one person ... or NONe at all.. why do I feel so lonely.. why do I feel like I've lost intimacy with You the perefect one... Yes God I need Your peace... I surrent to You... God I'm having such troble in the relationships department.. esp ially guys and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo thankfl for the rvelation of chilling versus datigng and I wish I knew then what I know now through Yor revelation.. it hurts... and also the change and waiting is hard... break throgh.. no more words to say.. read my heart and thoughts... my love nad my God... ( Ps Lord I thank You for "rover" whom You have placed in my life.. I pray that you will give hm a desier for me and anf a desire for me as You draw him closer to You. He may be going througha storm You sent so that He may seek You and God I pray that I will have a place in his heart that no other maiden can quench. In Jesus Name I ask You in all faith. And if You have somone better for me.. please let them step into my life so that the river will be jealous and so will my future husband of the river as well fighting for em.. but in the end the one You choose.. God I want some adventure with You... I want to stay pure in Your sense of the word pure not just physicaly... hep me.. I need encouragement.. I need something to hold on to.. a vision of Your promise... please give it to me... I fell so alone.. Jesus I need You to break through right now JESUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS You know You'll always be my love.. perfect and HOT !! holy and beautoful! You are perfect You kow that I love You... In Jesus Name I ask and pray, Amen.