Stoic

Yes that's the only word that came to me as I was thinking what to entitle this blog. Long story short went on a crazy emotional roller coaster found myself crying before heading to work, being yelled at by my own sister, feeling so vulnerable and insecure, watched two movie today and didn't do any work, and didn't feel God's presence the way I used to and certainly the cancellation of my the long awaited trip to Chicago was not helping and neither was my both threatening to fire me today... yikes... and to that I was so emotionless because well... I tried my best and the weather was just horrid today.... described what I was feeling inside... I felt small today for some reason... I questioned who I was... and even the whole getting dates... it all seemed to e my fault... I don't know ... what can I do... what could I do... yes.. so employees were randomly nice to me as teh night came to a close... but I felt as if I couldn't trust anyone... and I really wanted the woman with crooked feet to walk... but I prayed in my head... how could I pray in the workplace... ugh.... but she could be healed... and the abortion story by a pastor just got to me and broke my heart and the movie the leap year stirred a new love for Ireland for me.. .and Irish Romance ... sometimes I find myself not knowing what I really want... or even need... and the whole debate about godly men and being good enough physically and throwing everything out tht window.. what about love.. love after marriage? God help me indeed... Now I know how King David felt...I'm sure there was way more but I'm going to call it a night...